World of Warcraft addicts, slackers and struggling athletes alike rejoice in the news of a new program specifically made for them. Manchester College is in the final stages of approving a program called “Extended Play.”

  
Mirroring the Fast Forward program which lets students graduate a year early, Extended Play will allow students to complete their undergraduate degree over a seven year span.

  
The plan is getting mixed reviews from professors, but students are cheering and singing in the streets. “Most students are excited about Extended Play, while parents prefer Fast Forward,” said Dave McFadden, the executive vice president of Manchester College.

  
It was not until one slacking student finally made it to his office that McFadden realized the need for a program that will fit even Manchester's laziest students. “It took a while to hear from the students who like EP since they tend to procrastinate a lot,” he said, which explains the amount of time that lapsed between the announcement of Fast Forward and this major milestone for the college.

  
“One of our students stopped by recently and told me that his 'place' as a student happens between 11 and 2 and that it would take him seven years to graduate,” McFadden said, “The idea for EP was born at that moment.”

Exclusive Extended Play classes will be offered from 11-3 p.m. to accommodate sleeping patterns, students can enroll in a maximum of 12 credit hours, and the amount of work required has been guaranteed to be halved from regular classes. The VIA credit requirement has been replaced with evening local area network (LAN) parties in the evening to ensure personal interaction still exists.

Final exams have been replaced by eating contests and thumb wars.

World of Warcraft addict and senior Ryan McCool is planning to change his four-and-a-half-year plan to six years to allow more gaming time. “I wish I had known about this sooner,” McCool said. “I would have never taken all those stupid 8 am classes. Now I can raid with my e-friends all night and get phat loots, zomg!”

Garver's first floor RA, sophomore and Xbox junkie, Bryan Smethers, is also planning to adapt his schedule for Extended Play's seven year plan.  “Now I can take the Ultimate Frisbee class instead of some business class that I might actually need,” he said. “Screw business, I need to get my rank up in Call of Duty 4 and Halo.”

Wrist injuries and obesity have become major concerns of health officials, and Extended Play won't help a bit. McFadden disagrees: “Video games aren't a problem,” he said. “Playing until your fingers cramp is a choice, not an addiction. And our new General Education wellness activities will include Wii bowling and tennis.”

 
  Job placement concerns have arisen as well, but McFadden is not worried. “These people wouldn't apply for a job anyway,” he said. “There is nothing wrong with playing games all day, and its time we advocate that.”

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