MU
Oak Leaves


April 1, 2016


Puppy - MU Instagram
PUPPY-DOG EYES Danse rests after a day of terrorizing campus. Photo courtesy of MU Instagram.

Puppies Bring Trouble to Manchester

Keith Berry

Manchester University has become a part of a program called 4 Paws for Ability, where participants train puppies to become service dogs so that they can keep people with autism, mobility issues, and other various health problems company. Manchester University’s job is to socialize the puppies so they are ready to use their new abilities in the real world. Each semester, the university gets two puppies that travel from class to class throughout the day to socialize with the students.

However, this semester’s puppies seem to have gotten very comfortable around campus, acting as if they run things. There have been reports about the puppies, Danse and Figaro, getting out of control. Students have complained about the puppies biting at their ankles, chasing them across the Mall, pooping on the professor’s lesson plans, and scaring the living daylights out of whomever isn’t paying attention.

There have even been reports of students getting cornered by the puppies and not being released until they have issued a nice belly rub and a treat. If someone didn’t have a treat, the puppies would leave them one . . . on their shoes.

“The fact that the puppies are left alone is beyond me!” said an anonymous student in fear that the puppies are out to get him or her.

This is when the puppies are together. Separately, they wreak just as much havoc.

 Danse seems to be the worse of the two. Students at Manchester University have said that she has been peeing in their shoes, eating their homework (just because professors do not believe the age-old excuse), and even tying their shoelaces in a knot.

“I swear, one day she barked, ‘Gotcha!’ and then tripped me!” said Blake Woodward, a senior art major. “And I could’ve sworn she winked at me too on the way to lunch.”

Woodward is now seeing a counselor about his experience.

A senior Biology major and a victim of the dogs’ act said, “I’ve never felt so betrayed by man’s best friend.”

Needless to say, the puppies that caught everyone’s eye at the beginning of the semester as adorable, precious angels have definitely turned for the worst. Even the dog handlers fear they can do nothing to save us. These puppies are smart and cunning and unpredictable all at the same time. Hopefully, they have had their fun and will transform into the loving dogs that Manchester University was anticipating.